i just made my gag reflex go away.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i believe in u and ur pee
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
