hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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