just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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