I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fuck appropriateness.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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