He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
