Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
