wakey wakey hands off snakey
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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