Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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