umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
