This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
