Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
