I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
