Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
