Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
