Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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