why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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