i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
