at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
