I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
