There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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