They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
