She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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