did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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