Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
