What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
