If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
