I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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