Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
