Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
