Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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