um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize