My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
