So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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