omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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