covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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