Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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