You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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