Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
