my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
