Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
