Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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