the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
