The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
