If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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