How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
