lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
