Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My balls are so social today.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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