My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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