he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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