I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
