All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
