you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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