i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sarcasm needs its own font
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
