That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
