Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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