honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
