If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize