lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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