Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So many bounce houses so little time
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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