just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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