Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
