Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
