so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
