I bet he comes in French.
now i know why i became what i already was.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
