it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Who died my cat blue again?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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